◀ Chapter 2 - Part 3
- Chapter 2 - Part 5 (Pending) ▶The Story Continues... Chapter 2 - The Menace Within - Part 4...
...sealed away in his Closet. Yoda's seven twilek cannibal pleasure slaves, spent days rubbing Yoda using baking soda and sea salt, then popped him, Gruf, and ET in the oven. Nobody knew the recipe for Soylent Green had been updated to include chipotle flavor.
Meanwhile back on Sullust, the big red sun remained behind inky stormclouds as Snoke prepared his first blue-milk latte of the day. Carefully he pulled out a candy cane and then whistled “Jingle Bells” and plotted a course for for the Polaris system where he planned to meet the resistance leaders to confirm their luau plans while having hot chocolate with Qui-gon's ghost. Unfortunately the sugar was out.
Lando swore his people had their head in knee-deep in empire sweet-n-low. Lando prepared the carbonite for his special shipment of Bespin coffee beans. The carbon freezing chamber perfectly preserved the beans testing it for Rey who loved quality coffee from Yavin. She was eager to explore Bespin while drinking a cup of Solo with Ron, a closet caffeine addict.
Snoke waited for Rey. Juan Valdez entered carrying sacks full of lightsabers for all the little children. Blue-milk-Latter in hand, Rey drank a unicorn frappucino and entered the freezing dried town of Sanka Craus where she took a contingency of Bespins to see the lights of the funeral pyres, which was a coffee-free and enjoyed a simple bon-fire.
3 years later, Rey was still searching for Snoke and his 8 flying Ren deer, she had looked everywhere! She found Snoke in the north pole barracks By the coffee factory. Rey refused to play, she needed her Espresso. Snoke was Rey's father In a popular sit-com "Reys of Our Lives". Little did she know the coffee smelt great But was poisoned! Death offered her a chessmatch Chewy took her place "Let the Wookiee win". Chewie ripped the handle off the door and then let rip a massive roar! Death fled. Chewy left with Rey.
Meanwhile on Dagobah, Yoda, dressed as an elf, and found a log which he carved into a totem of Padme. We don’t know why a stick by the picture of "Pickle Rick" Yoda tapped with it.
"Short I am, but powerful in the force use stick I can"
That log had a thumb hole too big, that oozed foul smelling goo. The dead ewoks inside awoke, zombified, crawling out, each carrying a Lightsaber...