◀ Chapter 2 - Part 2
- Chapter 2 - Part 4 (Pending) ▶The Story Continues... Chapter 2 - The Menace Within - Part 3...
... things were happening in Mos Eisley. Old Luke returned home to find First Order Stormtroopers searching cities built by Sand People, whom had ancient Temples worshipping the Mouse! (dun dun duun!)
The evil Trade Federation, or it's remains anyway, had built a cloaking device requiring mushroom spores called Spore-Cloak which Snoke employed through hallucinogenic mushrooms and were slightly faster than Lothlorien tracker elves hyped up on espresso.
So Luke visited Mara and proceeded to get into the land speeder to cross the Jawas in Mos-Eisley going to have blue milk at the local Casino area. Old Luke at Casino used the force to squeeze Male Banthas
, producing screams from cold hands as Bantha produces "Bantha-Beer"
Gruf didn’t care, so the band played reggae while Leia danced with Ahsoka, (it's girls nite), as Gruf sang Karaoke, and Mara slipped out with Luke to see whose tunic was blacker, whose Force was stronger, and who would lead, and whose right hand had the better make-up. But that’s another story.
The Wild Karrde landed bringing Talon Karrde and a cargo full of smuggled Rebel Infantry, to aid in capturing the Leader, Kylo Ren, whom had captured Rey and held her hostage at Daft Punk's rave warehouse.(When the rescuers arrived...)
they all started dancing. She (Rey)
felt sorry for Gruf because he didn't have a female with Force sensitive powers and a purple drink lightsaber that GLOWS
when Rey does air drums to the grey bald soldier ordered to guard her.
"Who you calling grey?" stated old Stormtrooper named Jar Jar the DCXXLIIV.
An explosion scattered the rave, Kylo Ren drew his sabre and beheaded Jar-Jar (Old Stormtrooper), grabbed Ray and uttered the following "Resistance... DIE!", while escaping!
Meanwhile, "Count Dooku" appeared (Sith ghost? Why not, they have force ghosts?)...
"Anyone seen my head?" Jarjar's lifeless head exclaimed. Looking "head" and "shoulders" above the rest and Jarjar's head inadvertently smashed 9nto 1000 tiny JarJars containing dirt. (get it?
Then, suddenly Dooku and Snoke projected Stormtrooper safety training films while Gruf boarded his badass homemade pocket-sized starship, made entirely from LEGOs painted rebel blue with cool little "rebel" stickers, with "eat my dust.
Gruf lifted off and shot off towards the outer rim system, Brodo Asogi. ET, a force sensitive pornhub superstar, made a landing pad available to land on, duh.
But!, ET had been Yoda's secret past lover, before Lord Vader came along, before the dark times.
And so, a secret side of Yoda was...