Four Word Story Volume III

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TKTB51
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1391 » Wed Sep 11, 2019 9:18 pm

Han called, "Leia, darling ...
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Toydarian
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1392 » Fri Sep 13, 2019 12:04 pm

....”yes, hun, you wish?”
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TKTB51
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1393 » Fri Sep 13, 2019 2:07 pm

"please take my lightsaber"
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XitLiteNtrNite
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1394 » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:56 am

Han tossed the lightsaber
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Forceisweaknyou
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1395 » Sun Sep 22, 2019 10:26 pm

into the hand of
Leader ofSHADOW-GUARDrank140 148300k X
Looking forward to Ep9.
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Harshit
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1396 » Mon Sep 23, 2019 7:31 am

Chewie and just took
MIgrated from Windows from former squad HOLCRON HORROR. NOW shifted to android/ios in the squad HH-resurrectionand and our sister squad at HH-Insurrection. Apply now and be loyal to the EMPEROR.


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TKTB51
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1397 » Mon Sep 23, 2019 3:32 pm

his blaster from his
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XitLiteNtrNite
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1398 » Sun Sep 29, 2019 8:20 am

holster, quickly shooting Greedo.
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DeathStriker
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1399 » Sun Sep 29, 2019 8:52 am

The Menace Within Found.
 
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DeathStriker
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Re: Four Word Story Volume III

Post#1400 » Sun Sep 29, 2019 8:52 am

◀ Chapter 2 - Part 9 - Chapter 3 - Jedi Resurrection - The Beginning ▶

Chapter 2 - The Menace Within - Complete Recap ...

AND SO IT BEGINS...

Chewbacca arrives in Slave-1 on D'Qar in the Outer Rim Territories to see the Resistance Base of Operation nearly destroyed. Evidence of a recent First Order attack is everywhere with all the dead bodies of both Resistance and First Order troops laying motionless amongst all the building rubble and burning equipment.

Out of the smokey haze a lone figure slowly approaches Chewbacca, weapon in hand.

Chewie shoots him dead. The First Order Pilot fires at Chewy, knocking Chewbacca into deep hole...

(seems First Order TIE Pilot was wearing Advanced Body Armor and was not dead but stunned)

Chewy aimed his bowcaster hitting Pilot stealing Slave-1. With lone Pilot dead Chewy began exploring Base Alpha Nine, a research facility for advanced cappuccinos. THIS was Chewie's goal: Revenge for Hans death, and rule over the coffee shops of Sullust whilst ordering a Milkshake....Yep - a goal worthy of expresso connoisseur Wookiee — though he secretly loathed Blue-Milk latte's.

SUDDENLY, sounds of coffee deprived Sullastan shooting up Research Lab was seen on news that appeared on Monitors. Naturally, Chewie called for a Blue-Milk Flat White.

Chewbacca left for Crait...

(It seems that the Resistance had left D'Qar and headquartered themselves in an old outpost on the mineral planet Crait that was a small, desolate and uninhabited planet located in a remote star system of the same name.)

...and sat there thinking in Slave-1 Pilot seat... Leia...is it too hard defending Crait from the undead trooper hordes of First Order Stormtroopers...

Chewy headed to Crait landing station, upon where he was pleasantly surprised to meet Maz Kanata, as a cameo character(!), delivering Leia's message that Han survived Kylo's betrayal with only half his body.

Cybernetic Han now had finally decided to Return to Leia and using Cybernetic Lower Body,carry her to Alderaan 2, new Alderaan Planet, populated entirely by the advanced survivors of Alderaan.

Chewy thought "Alderaan survivors???"

(Seriously, how do you survive total obliteration? ....:-))

"Galaxy's fastest escape pods"

"Instant hyperspace by Windows-Millennium"

"The planet was terraformed"

"Beam me up Scotty!!! ... Blared a television set."

Anyway, Chewie was so happy with his blue-milk latte.

(You survive by not being on the planet Alderaan at the time of obliteration, like Leia)

(Maz Kanata leaves Chewbacca to his daydreaming and thoughts and for a while the glistening white of Crait glimmered in the sun with only a slight breeze to disturb the peaceful silence surrounding Chewbacca sitting alone on the Landing Platform waiting...)


Chewbacca, sensing danger, stood, pulled his bowcaster and relaxed.

General Leia appeared... But as a force-ghost!

(Force Ghost Leia speaking)

"Don't trust anyone, go..."

*Blaster Shot whizzes past Chewbacca's head causing him to duck*

"Raaawh?! HrrReaa Rhhhaa!!!

(translation: What the-?! I'll rip your arms/tentacles/whatever-appendage-you-have-depending-on-species OFF for that!!!)

Turning, Han stood staring, tears streaming, cybernetic legs quivering......and then Chewie woke... within Secret Rebel Headquarters.

(seems the message from Leia given to Chewbacca by Maz Kanata at the Crait Landing Station was laced with a hallucinatory sleeping chemical in order to protect the Crait Rebel Headquarters)

He roused himself, strode to the control/operations room. There he found Gruf with Ahsoka who had returned with vital intelligence ...About the First Order’s Sock collection. Needless to say "Sock" was code..."Strategic Operations Clone Killzones"

Leia said "How many..."

(yes, Leia as Force Ghost was just part of Chewbacca's hallucinatory dream)
"and how big are.....the SOCK's. Any Defense..."...against Kylo Ren's emo tantrums...""and Snokes body emanations..." "or turncoat stormtroopers?"

Chewie growled "RUUUUUrhrGUGUGHRhghghghrRURURUghGHrrrrrr..." waving arms...

(Translated: Would someone tell me what is going on here... first got Leia's drugged message and when I wake up here I can't figure out what has happened to the Resistance... and where is that Expresso I was promised!

Wookiee Language is very precise!)


Gruf shook his head and laughed at Chewie.

Chewbacca growled "huurh aarrragghuuhw wrrhw" angrily...

(Translated: "WTF is so funny.......")

(Gruf Speaking)

“You have gum in your mangy fur coat...."

Then they departed for Leia's HQ and SOCKs to try and decode First Order transmissions emanating from the local Apple outpost manned by Android Scientists secretly working for the Gungans. This was part of Resistance plans to refine blue-milk cappuccino while developing Anti-Matter Engines capable of evading tractor beams.

At Leia's HQ Gruf takes a hit from Ahsoka for commenting about her dancer mother, but only in jest.

Meanwhile, Chewy is snapchatting with his wife and his girlfriend! This could be painful if he wasn't careful. His father hadn’t been, and the relationship between Lando and his various flames, didn’t Work out as planned.

Ahsoka yells "Chewy wake up Lando and let's Gruf back into the Ship and visit the Cantina where Reina is waiting patiently for the smuggled shipment from Kessel of ATM-6 Guerrilla Walkers." Little did she know, that Batman had infiltrated Reina's favorite comic book. They loaded the walkers and started the journey to Mustafar to assault Vader's primary toy factories, because she (Ahsoka) hated Imperial monopolies and also the commercials. She wants her piece of galactic toy sales.

The walkers marched toward life-size Death-Star Lego replica, Rebel shields and turrets, all of which was built from Lego :) and stuck together with bluetack.

Twilek Tina looked up from the rancor pit made from Lego's, and let out a loud scream, because she saw Vader riding a rancor going full commando which [censored content]! and then, Vader's now high-pitched voice was shouting incoherently, while stabbing Rancor with Lightsaber. Screaming in outrage Rancor threw Vader toward Tina whom Vader decapitated accidentally.

Ahsoka, outraged, Fire-Bombed Vader with a water-pistol, filled with starship fuel, then BANG went the Thermal detonator thrown from Leia.

On Tatooine, strange things were happening in Mos Eisley. Old Luke returned home to find First Order Stormtroopers searching cities built by Sand People, whom had ancient Temples worshipping the Mouse! (dun dun duun!)

The evil Trade Federation, or it's remains anyway, had built a cloaking device requiring mushroom spores called Spore-Cloak which Snoke employed through hallucinogenic mushrooms and were slightly faster than Lothlorien tracker elves hyped up on espresso.

So Luke visited Mara and proceeded to get into the land speeder to cross the Jawas in Mos-Eisley going to have blue milk at the local Casino area. Old Luke at Casino used the force to squeeze Male Banthas, producing screams from cold hands as Bantha produces "Bantha-Beer" :lol:

Gruf didn’t care, so the band played reggae while Leia danced with Ahsoka, (it's girls nite), as Gruf sang Karaoke, and Mara slipped out with Luke to see whose tunic was blacker, whose Force was stronger, and who would lead, and whose right hand had the better make-up. But that’s another story.

The Wild Karrde landed bringing Talon Karrde and a cargo full of smuggled Rebel Infantry, to aid in capturing the Leader, Kylo Ren, whom had captured Rey and held her hostage at Daft Punk's rave warehouse.

(When the rescuers arrived...)

they all started dancing. She (Rey) felt sorry for Gruf because he didn't have a female with Force sensitive powers and a purple drink lightsaber that GLOWS when Rey does air drums to the grey bald soldier ordered to guard her.

"Who you calling grey?" stated old Stormtrooper named Jar Jar the DCXXLIIV.

An explosion scattered the rave, Kylo Ren drew his sabre and beheaded Jar-Jar (Old Stormtrooper), grabbed Ray and uttered the following "Resistance... DIE!", while escaping!

Meanwhile, "Count Dooku" appeared (Sith ghost? Why not, they have force ghosts?)...


"Anyone seen my head?" Jarjar's lifeless head exclaimed. Looking "head" and "shoulders" above the rest and Jarjar's head inadvertently smashed 9nto 1000 tiny JarJars containing dirt. (get it? :))

Then, suddenly Dooku and Snoke projected Stormtrooper safety training films while Gruf boarded his badass homemade pocket-sized starship, made entirely from LEGOs painted rebel blue with cool little "rebel" stickers, with "eat my dust.

Gruf lifted off and shot off towards the outer rim system, Brodo Asogi. ET, a force sensitive pornhub superstar, made a landing pad available to land on, duh.

But!, ET had been Yoda's secret past lover, before Lord Vader came along, before the dark times.

And so, a secret side of Yoda was sealed away in his Closet. Yoda's seven twilek cannibal pleasure slaves, spent days rubbing Yoda using baking soda and sea salt, then popped him, Gruf, and ET in the oven. Nobody knew the recipe for Soylent Green had been updated to include chipotle flavor.

Meanwhile back on Sullust, the big red sun remained behind inky stormclouds as Snoke prepared his first blue-milk latte of the day. Carefully he pulled out a candy cane and then whistled “Jingle Bells” and plotted a course for for the Polaris system where he planned to meet the resistance leaders to confirm their luau plans while having hot chocolate with Qui-gon's ghost. Unfortunately the sugar was out.

Lando swore his people had their head in knee-deep in empire sweet-n-low. Lando prepared the carbonite for his special shipment of Bespin coffee beans. The carbon freezing chamber perfectly preserved the beans testing it for Rey who loved quality coffee from Yavin. She was eager to explore Bespin while drinking a cup of Solo with Ron, a closet caffeine addict.

Snoke waited for Rey. Juan Valdez entered carrying sacks full of lightsabers for all the little children. Blue-milk-Latter in hand, Rey drank a unicorn frappucino and entered the freezing dried town of Sanka Craus where she took a contingency of Bespins to see the lights of the funeral pyres, which was a coffee-free and enjoyed a simple bon-fire.

3 years later, Rey was still searching for Snoke and his 8 flying Ren deer, she had looked everywhere! She found Snoke in the north pole barracks By the coffee factory. Rey refused to play, she needed her Espresso. Snoke was Rey's father In a popular sit-com "Reys of Our Lives". Little did she know the coffee smelt great But was poisoned! Death offered her a chessmatch Chewy took her place "Let the Wookiee win". Chewie ripped the handle off the door and then let rip a massive roar! Death fled. Chewy left with Rey.

Meanwhile on Dagobah, Yoda, dressed as an elf, and found a log which he carved into a totem of Padme. We don’t know why a stick by the picture of "Pickle Rick" Yoda tapped with it.

"Short I am, but powerful in the force use stick I can"

That log had a thumb hole too big, that oozed foul smelling goo. The dead ewoks inside awoke, zombified, crawling out, each carrying a Lightsaber yelling the “yub-nub” song.

A thermal detonator landed and annihilated the ewoks, helped by a chicken-duck-woman-thing which also perished.

Lamenting his isolation, Yoda boarded an Asogian science vessel and jumped into hyperspace headed for Ahch To... "Gesundtheit" said someone from behind the bulkhead, when Yoda turned, Leia stepped forward, with Rey, and Rey's parents, who were Drunk Zombies, from Jakku.

(in drunken slurred speech the male drunk zombie spoke)

"I need a blue_milk...wanna buy some kids?"



"We'll be right back.......", quipped Rey's Zombie Mother.

"Where's Lucille? " said zombie-dad

Rey drew her sabre instantly killing Zombi-Dad, then Rey departed for Canto-Bight to play Dejarik with Reckless abandon.

She landed, with Dejarik Master - Chewbacca, who had a Christmas-party! Unfortunately for Rey-dolph, she crushed the Casino, except the reggae band, which was force sensitive. Yeah! Merry Christmas!



Chewbacca became angry, ripping the slicer's arms from its puny little body. "somebody wake him up and tell him he is Jake Skywalker but"...

Back at the bar (or club, rave, hideout, etc.), Wicket grabbed a blaster, pointed it at his Dead battery Tesla Car 2ith a trunk full of deep-fried porges and Twelek dancers that they Froze in Carbonite on the deck of their Cruiser.

Wicket fired, vaporizing wondering if they would Notice so many dead porgies, Wicket began to sip his blue-milk latte while playing SWC in the nude, he missed attacking as he was distracted by the twilek as her flamethrower exploded.

"Hot enough for you?"

"yea my hotdogs are really to hot too put in the bun"

Palpatine said "Very gooood"

A time machine suddenly appeared containing SW episodes 9-35936 with the new Title "Revenge of the Midichlorians"

Meanwhile on Sullust, Garp was planning to have a blue-milk latte t-shirt on for the great unveiling of the moon destruction by the Starkiller.

Drinking the milk, Garp finally woke up. Startled by the sound of Leia screaming and Vader dancing to Drake's "hotline bling" :)

Garp feared he was in the wrong cantina Garp went to Bespin since his ice-cream maker was on the fritz. He wanted the special blue milk latte with one or two sugars {and} he discovered that Lando also liked two sugars and had secretly married Jabba the Hutt's daughter Ateela who was very powerful due to her incessantly nasal whining about Jabba's secret stash of salted rocky mountain oysters as Ateela quietly snuck Into the carbonation chamber to set into motion all her dastardly plans to lose weight she gained by being pregnant!

Garp looked up....Pregnant!!!!???

He excitedly kissed Ateela. Garp asked "who's daddy?"

You know it's Midge (a voice yelled out), “Not you, you maggot!” (yelled another).

Meanwhile, in Starbucks, Lando considered Vader's offer to sell "Energy Drinks" called "Mustafarian Volcano/Mountain Dew". They agreed drink "revenue" would... Oops... fund yet another DeathStar!

"It's tangy, but why?" (asked Lando)

"That's the Kessen juice" (replied Vader)

Lando shot Vader with (Mustafarian Volcano/Mountain Dew) {and} after they had too many shots, they stumbled into a wookie orgy of ideas, brainstorming for how to get as many Scout-trooper helmets as the Ewok Band called "Wicket an the Furry", which is a front for trafficking in illegal blue-milk lattes.

Lando reached under his cape and whipped out a huge blaster, pointing it at his own big head while cackling like a maniac. Leia leapt from her chair, but was tackled by Han who exclaimed, "It's too late!...Love Island has finished". Leia started crying hysterically.

Lando - "WTF! I missed"

Yoda snickered and then did stupid lightsaber flips while also cackling. Meanwhile Lando was ogling R2 as Prestige Droids watched R2D2 ride C-3PO around on Jabbas barge drinking.

Lando - "R2 is looking at Salacious Crumb picking over Lando's sloppy joe"

“Where am I?” Grug wondered, eyeing Londo's sloppy jalopy. Which he promptly realised was truly ugly.

Lando boarded the Falcon and headed to Sullust for a rendezvous with Snoke, who had miraculously transformed into a lady Twi'lek dancer for Jabba. (Hahaha) The rancor ate her.

MEANWHILE... Across the Galaxy, Leia stepped out of her Darth Vader costume and into Slave Bikini eyeing Boba Fett's large glowing fusion powered jackhammer.

Han winked at Bobby, pulling his gun and a “BANG” sign came out. Leia laughing, pointed her jet pack trooper in the proper direction. As it blasted off Garp finally caught up to Leia, who laughingly showed him a picture of her new speeder. Built for maximum comfort and maximum absorption of solar gamma radiation in higher speed light travel.

"Let's race", Lando exclaimed. Pushing the accelerator, he began his Kessel Run hoping he would survive last night's chicken vindaloo which was starting to burn through his engine.

An ewok emerged from the speeder’s vindaloo exhaust and eliminated the Empire.

Vader, in tears, shouted "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... NOT EWOKS AGAIN!!!!! Those Furballs are so cute, but HIGH maintenance yet they continue to steal my granola bars to build tree houses"

Contacting Darth Sidious, Vader continued to feel emasculated, his train set broken, and his marbles lost.

Vader's new apprentice, the evil villain Miss Piggy kept shaking her ass, a donkey named Jar-jar. So Vader had her married to Therm Scissorpunch hoping she’d die of {Coaxium Poisoning real quick.} Na, they on honeymoon!

Across the Galaxy, Lando was shaving his legs in the middle of smashing 204 bleeding turrets while wearing his lace Doilies he inherited from Han.

Suddenly, Force Ghost Ben, whipped out his Droids out of their storage closets. Amid the chaos, fire and destruction arose a solitary figure carrying a thermal detonator. It was Kate Boushh wearing only one sock.

The detonator exploded, severing chain preventing Rancor attacking. The Rancor attacked! Swinging a large feather duster, seriously it was big, buffed beyond belief. It had Magical Porg Feathers which gave the Rancor a weapon worthy of the Knights Who Say Ni! (See Video)

A Giant Porg quickly struck the rancor's head which changed into seriously huge disgusting pimple. Boushh deftly popped it quickly ending what could {of} what Vader was supposed to have earned by chomping on the pimple.

Foiled once again, Vader pondered, who's my daddy? Maybe it was a asshole gambler named Watto. Angrily, Vader drew his rubber chicken disguised lightsaber and choked it furiously. After choking the chicken, the monkey legged it straight into the cantina where Sy Snootles brawled with Salacious Crumb, who shot first using a massive bazooka named Karina. He missed Sy, instead hitting Modal Nodes playing Dejarik with a hairy handled mallet made of Rancor Bone.

The monkey meanwhile, raced through the Cantina, flinging Poo-Doo liberally at every rebel present. Salacious Crumb quickly dodged a massive poo, then vaporized the monkey with the latest Dyson hairdryer. Crumb quickly dried the blood.

"RWaaaaoororofhgoaohgohgppapapgopghopapaaaaraaarroororoao"* interrupted Chewbacca, angrily!

    *wookie translation:

    "Who turned off the music? I'll rip their arms off and beat them with the soggy end, and for the love of fur balls, who spilled my Blue ... MILK ... L A T T E !?!"
Angrily Chewy then started banging a drum (as) a twilek entered with Double-Large Blue Milk Latte.

Chewie licked his lips as did the twilek gave the milk latte another blow and raised her properly moistened lips to her flamethrower’s nozzle lightly licked the edge, increasing the temperature of her already flaming tongue, illuminating the Cantina with a prestige level dump warming the room with a golden glow so intense, that the the mighty king himself was blinded by the light, revved up like Han on jawa juice. She then pulled the creamy foam from the goblet, and sprayed it with powdered turbinado sugar.

And then suddenly Vader choked Chewbacca and started staring at Leia in lecherous manner, breathing heavily...

And then suddenly a long hairy arm grabbed Darth Vader's lightsaber right from his LightSaber holder and then threw it out the Window of the Death Star asked "sweetener or sugar?"

Snoke suddenly appeared in the broken Deathstar window and R2 fixed everything. Snoke rushed to find more superglue to repair the replica Vader lightsaber. Vader shouts “no glue” use Bantha Fodder instead.

Carol Danvers suddenly appeared, with two drunk ewoks in bright fancy dress asking for a lighter to ignite the pyre with Mickey on top.

Luke awoke from a graveyard he’d been lost since his disappearance on Tanaab, where he had stored enough coaxium to liberate all the Noghri from LIN Demolition droids. (Lol) The coaxium was mounted on Fathiers, which died catastrophically. Meanwhile, Luke was whining again because the Flerken ate the Tesseract.....

Luke used the force deflecting heavy fire. Unfortunately when he did that He spilled his blue-milk-latte on Snoke's robe, causing nothing, because Snoke's dead "that's my souvenir robe..." Luke had secretly married his aunt and sister, whilst playing his banjo and whining about work and overpowered Imperial AT-ACTs.

Mara Jade was Obiwan's bit on the side. Obi-Wan smiled, stroked his Mobile Heavy Cannon! Suddenly from out of nowhere Vader appeared. Obiwan removed all of his clothing to reveal his huge https://youtu.be/ARXqNc5DGXU very shiny purple lightsaber. Vader grabbed the lightsaber and swirled it round Impaled himself, and died.

And Star Wars ended.

For every ending there is hope. Luke left, banished himself, and died. Then Melisandre revived him. Then they both died of a broken heart.

I clearly said ended.

Back on Dagobah, Yoda played in the mud with his awesome new rock collection while Luke planned with Mara Jade about Escaping Vader's evil overbearing father complex. Unsurprisingly,Vader grounded Luke for entering the cave without using the secret knock.

Inside Luke saw the monument to vader's helmet and admired it's unusual melting wheelie bin stench. Another helmet lay next to Leia at nighttime wearing her slave bikini that no longer fit. So Yoda wore it charging his midichlorians with the power to choke he patiently waited for Leia to saunter over with threepio In tow they plotted a course for Dantooine where there was a retirement party for bounty hunters that found Luke.

Meanwhile, terror continued. General Grievous had a big ripe banana that Palpatine had given him. Inside, a thermal vest, chewbacca still felt cold having shaved his chest beforehand. With only moments to spare, Chewbacca grabbed the nearest porg and stuffed it squawking and fired his bowcaster at the helpless vegans. The vegans charred, Chewbacca rubbed his tummy, then belched loudly!

Just then... the remaining porgs mounted an atst loaded with the Spice Melange and had a prescient vision of an uncertain future :(.

 Suddenly a red lightsaber lit in the dark skewered the remaining porgs. Chewie, roaring, grabbed the female wookie Pi and going towards millenium falcon.

Suddenly Luke shoved a blue-milk latte at Chewbacca but fell on leia. Do or not do There is no try. Darth Maul with lightsaber drawn was enraged because his porg was overcooked. Angrily, he took the high ranking stormtroopers helmet and put it on his head, back to front and run straight into the emperors bedroom. Still groggy, the emperor and the emperor was sleeping.

With Max rebo's band playing softly in the background the Ithorians started plotting amongst themselves when a dramatic stench erupted from the imperial garbage that spewed out of of the cantina drunk.

"I'm wanted on three planets" groaned Saw Gerrera as he fell into a wormhole that transported him to Hoth.

However, Saw was accompanied by a TaunTaun on heat. As the two snuggled up together, a bantha dropped his load on Saw's foot. Ironically, he wore bantha spurs and dug his heels into the heaving flanks of the tauntaun which yelped put his head back knocking Saw onto the yellowing Hoth snow. Indignant, Saw opened a bottle of blue milk and drank the milk quickly.

Suddenly, on the horizon - this game is dying - said JarJar as he openned a can of honey coated whoop ass. Cantina wagon is good for using dowtin's grenades.

Suddenly, out of nowhere Rey's parents entered. They looked at Rey, turned around and exclaimed loudly "DO NOT MARRY FINN!" :evil: Paradoxically, the unit transports dropped Finn and Rose into the Sarlaac Pit. Meanwhile, Rey's parents were busy buying beer at the Mos Eisley cantina. Han drew his blaster and fried Jabba's henchmen. Han drew first.

Meanwhile in Maz Kanata's castle droids were being freed from the clutches of hungry rancors that had a thorn stuck in in the dungeon door into which the rancor charged noisily with abandon.

It became apparent that the force is unbalanced, the DARKSIDE reigned supreme.

A small band of drunk porgs came to Knockturn Alley looking for flesh-eating slug repellent, instead attempted the Kessel run in 11 parsecs. Sadly the porgs were attacked while visiting Galaxy's Edge by mobs of hungry Mogwai recently purchased from some laid drunk jawas which arrived from Batuu who were stuck waiting for the crystals that they spent on crates that contained nothing they wanted. Situation normal.

Meanwhile in the Star Destroyer nothing could prevent a mutiny among Imperial officers because Vader chokes them when they fail to polish his helmet. Vader keep rubbing my helmet as I...…………………………...………..am your...……………...…………………………………………...……………………...biological FATHER! don't tell your mother ... until the Ewoks emerged.

Meanwhile the OP SMTTs are no longer OP. Instead, SMTTs are unstoppable.

Nick Fury's vacation was was suddenly interrupted by incompetent Skrulls who couldn’t identify a scammer who cheated in squad wars.

Some people keep whining to Yoda about the Lack of a plot in the movie Spaceballs so they combed the back of Barf's head while Princess Vespa unbuttoned Lone Starr‘s gun belt. Dark Helmet arrived just in time to see the critics pan the globe in search of Spock's body without his brain. Meanwhile, Leia turned to search for more money because Kylo needed underwear. So she sent 3PO to be sold to Jabba as payment for a new brass bikini.

Kylo donned the bikini and the universe exploded as the new death star activated Cantina GR and sent out gammoreans ridden by twileks shaking GUNTER GLIEBEN GLAUCHEN GLOBEN.

Suddenly a rancor appeared then suddenly it disappeared.

But suddenly Snoke starts tripping the light fandango To give to her (Leia) serious incineration training, for Jabba the Hut. Meanwhile, fried Hutt burgers were being served in the Wampa's cave while Luke drinks an iced blue-milk from Oga's Cantina as 99 red luftballoons went (OMG, the video for that song ... the hair from the 80s ... just ... OMG) floating in the summer under a full moon then shot down by a smooth criminal who asked Darth Maul ….who checked his mitichlorian count, as Maul complained about Leia's extremely moist and family-friendly brownies. Henceforth, Leia was known as the princess of chocolately. So, brownies ready, she picked up the icing and a blue-milk latte.

Han called, "Leia, darling ....

(Leia Speaking)

.... ”yes, hun, you wish?”

(Han Speaking)

.... "please take my lightsaber"

Han tossed the lightsaber into the hand of Chewie and just took his blaster from his holster, quickly shooting Greedo.

The "Menace Within" Found.
 
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If YOU Want to War - Apply Now!


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