◀ Chapter 2 - Part 7
- Chapter 2 - Part 9 (Pending) ▶The Story Continues... Chapter 2 - The Menace Within - Part 8...
with powdered turbinado sugar.
And then suddenly Vader choked Chewbacca and started staring at Leia in lecherous manner, breathing heavily...
And then suddenly a long hairy arm grabbed Darth Vader's lightsaber right from his LightSaber holder and then threw it out the Window of the Death Star asked "sweetener or sugar?"
Snoke suddenly appeared in the broken Deathstar window and R2 fixed everything. Snoke rushed to find more superglue to repair the replica Vader lightsaber. Vader shouts “no glue” use Bantha Fodder instead.
Carol Danvers suddenly appeared, with two drunk ewoks in bright fancy dress asking for a lighter to ignite the pyre with Mickey on top.
Luke awoke from a graveyard he’d been lost since his disappearance on Tanaab, where he had stored enough coaxium to liberate all the Noghri from LIN Demolition droids. (Lol) The coaxium was mounted on Fathiers, which died catastrophically. Meanwhile, Luke was whining again because the Flerken ate the Tesseract.....
Luke used the force deflecting heavy fire. Unfortunately when he did that He spilled his blue-milk-latte on Snoke's robe, causing nothing, because Snoke's dead "that's my souvenir robe..." Luke had secretly married his aunt and sister, whilst playing his banjo and whining about work and overpowered Imperial AT-ACTs.
Mara Jade was Obiwan's bit on the side. Obi-Wan smiled, stroked his Mobile Heavy Cannon! Suddenly from out of nowhere Vader appeared. Obiwan removed all of his clothing to reveal his huge https://youtu.be/ARXqNc5DGXU
very shiny purple lightsaber. Vader grabbed the lightsaber and swirled it round Impaled himself, and died.
And Star Wars ended.
For every ending there is hope. Luke left, banished himself, and died. Then Melisandre revived him. Then they both died of a broken heart.
I clearly said ended.
Back on Dagobah, Yoda played in the mud with his awesome new rock collection while Luke planned with Mara Jade about Escaping Vader's evil overbearing father complex. Unsurprisingly,Vader grounded Luke for entering the cave without using the secret knock.
Inside Luke saw the monument to vader's helmet and admired it's unusual melting wheelie bin stench. Another helmet lay next to Leia at nighttime wearing her slave bikini that no longer fit. So Yoda wore it charging his midichlorians with the power to choke he patiently waited for Leia to saunter over with threepio In tow they plotted a course for Dantooine where there was a retirement party for bounty hunters that found Luke.